Because everyone’s a fashion critic.
It's no secret that fashion is occasionally written off as superfluous fluff unworthy of Serious People's concern. But every now and again, a style will arise (a Met Gala gown, a color-changing dress) that miraculously converts even the most apathetic naysayers into Serious Fashion Critics overflowing with opinions.
On this Monday in March, that style is a $95 pair of mom jeans by Topshop currently sold at Nordstrom. These aren't regular mom jeans (as in, the kind real moms wear, or even the kind hipsters wear ironically). These are cool mom jeans — they feature a rectangular cut-out of clear plastic over the knee.
“Slick plastic panels bare your knees for a futuristic feel in tapered and cropped high-waist jeans,” reads the description on Nordstrom's website, the same retail platform that earlier this year brought us the $85 leather-wrapped rock.
Immediate reactions blamed the youth for inciting such madness:
Teens! Explain yourselves! https://t.co/3pqnR6eXdv
— Kelly Sue DeConnick (@kellysue) March 13, 2017
While others claimed said jeans signaled the demise of the human race:
he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.https://t.co/OICWceRKCO
— Jamie McKelvie (@McKelvie) March 13, 2017
There were calls to cut ties with Britain as a form of protest against the London-based Topshop brand that made them:
Brexit Britain https://t.co/nXeENYnA99
— Whinge O Rama(@nugohs898) March 13, 2017
Though some applauded the innovation of “knee windows”:
Knee windows are now a thing. https://t.co/zXKEq7udl9
— lizzybo (@lizzybo) March 13, 2017
There were mom jokes, of course:
@kiwifails pfffft your mom wears clear knee mom jeans!!!!
— Lovely Lady (@Lovely_Lady_Bee) March 13, 2017
And the indignant fashion lovers who knew that people would just never get it:
— Matthew Gronke (@matthewgronke) March 13, 2017
I SUPPORT CLEAR KNEE MOM JEANS
— Jamirospicer.;ttu,-4 (@issshnang) March 13, 2017
For all those who cried fashion crimes against humanity, however, there were just as many quick to point out that the jeans are being sold by the same store that dropped Ivanka Trump's line of apparel and accessories due to poor sales:
— Kung Fu Kanga (@_little_old_me) March 12, 2017
Sick burn: Nordstrom drops low- selling Ivanka Trump's line; replaces it with see-through knee cap mom jeans. https://t.co/6hM5kaThKv
— Kelly Pangell (@scarlethue) March 13, 2017
Slashed and destroyed denim with gaping holes on or around the knee is nothing new; however, the perfectly trimmed, plasticized panels take the idea to exciting new heights, truly putting the kneecap on full display and begging the question, are wrinkly knees the newest erogenous zone? (A less important, yet still necessary question to pose is: Will these make your knees sweaty?)
We can only imagine what Tina Fey, Rachel Dratch, Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph — the cast of SNL's infamous mom jean commercial — would think. Or better yet, what actual moms, who have slowly reclaimed the mom jean style, which was first re-purposed for high fashion by hipsters, would say of the plastic/denim mash-up.
Currently, Nordstrom's site seems to be out of stock in a few sizes, which means that for all of the web's collective complaining, some people are intrigued enough to invest in the futuristic style. And to those souls putting their $95 toward the worthy cause of fashion, we salute you and your window jeans.
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